Ian may be in prison, but he’s making sure his family isn’t forgetting about him. He sets an alarm clock that blares throughout the night in the house. “Miss me yet?” his note reads. Good one, Ian. While the Gallagher kids are at home, Frank is living it up with Ingrid and doing some indoor tobogganing, which is just a fancy term for sliding down the stairs. Ingrid is off her rocker since she’s not taking her meds, and her ex-husband is worried she’s going to hurt someone or herself. Since it doesn’t look like Frank is coming back to the house, Carl decides to take advantage of the extra room.
Debbie is worried about Fiona. She hasn’t heard from her since before Ian went to prison. Debbie goes to the apartment, and Fiona is avoiding all calls. When Debbie sees Fiona, she freaks. Fiona breaks down when she realizes she stood Ian up. When they go to see Fiona’s car, she admits to Debbie that she was driving drunk. She confesses everything to Debbie, who is there to comfort her sister.
V is ready to get rid of all the twins’ baby stuff. She thinks they’re done having kids, but Kev wants another baby. While V isn’t down to actually have another baby herself, she says she’ll consider adopting down the line. Compromise is the key to marriage!
Max Whitford keeps calling Fiona to get that $25,000 she owes him. Fiona realizes she’s going to have to list her apartment building to get the money. Debbie goes home and tells the rest of the clan about Fiona. “It’s really bad,” Debbie says. “I’ve never seen her this bad before.” Lip goes to find Fiona at Patsy’s, while Debbie says she’ll take care of Ford. She calls upon Farhad and Alex to take Ford down. She vows to “humiliate this motherf**ker.”
Kelly comes over to the house to do some West Point prep with Carl, who gets a less than stellar score on a practice test. Carl’s never been the most academic Gallagher. There is a West Point loophole, though. Since Carl’s suffered “tremendous hardships” at home, he can find his way around the academic aspect of the application. Meanwhile, Lip attends the christening of Brad’s baby. Tami, the girl he screwed at Brad’s wedding, shows up 20 minutes late. Now this girl wants a second chance! They have sex again in her car after the christening. She gives him a solid 6 out of 10, but he’s determined to get that 10 out of 10!
Frank and Ingrid have a wild day together. They perform oral sex on each other while they see her patients. Ingrid’s ex-husband tries to warn Frank that he hasn’t seen Ingrid at her worse yet. He casually notes that Ingrid’s stabbed him 14 times over the years. Ingrid’s ex eventually gives her the medication she needs. Frank offers to take Ingrid off her ex’s hands for a while.
Max Whitford comes by Fiona’s building for the money. She tells him she’s got nothing. “Do you got anybody you can call?” he asks. Fiona says no, but there is ONE PERSON. Hint hint, Jimmy/Steve/Jack! Max offers to be her listing agent and buy the building for the price of her mortgages. He’ll also take care of the $25,000. He has to charge her interest, so Fiona will end up with nothing. However, he says her credit will be in tact and she won’t have to foreclose. Fiona takes the deal and moves back home to the Gallagher house.
Her downward spiral isn’t done yet. She drinks vodka in the store and throws a “party” to celebrate her homecoming. Debbie comes in with the save in the final moments of the episode. Ford is now naked and on display in front of Patsy’s with “this man’s an asshole” written above him. Fiona grabs a paintball gun and fires at Ford, finally letting off some much-needed steam. No one messes with the Gallaghers and gets away with it.