Geneva Ayala wants to set the record straight that despite being the victim of ex-boyfriend XXXTentacion‘s alleged physical abuse in the past, she is devastated that he’s dead. The 20-year-old Miami rapper was gunned down outside of a Deerfield Beach, FL motorsports shop on June 18 and Geneva says she’s “broken” over the loss. She took to Twitter on June 19 and discussed their complicated relationship, writing “It’s disgusting that people are speaking for me. i don’t care if no one cared about me however many months ago, i didn’t lose my life. he did. it’s permanent. i’m still here. like how do you think that makes me feel? everyone expecting me to be relieved or happy?! no, i’m broken.”
She continued, ” i know y’all don’t f**k w me, but this isn’t about me. just please stop tagging me in disrespectful threads and arguments. i honestly don’t care for any of the hype. i lost someone close to me. leave me alone.” Hours after his brutal murder, she took to her Instagram and was devastated about the loss. Neva posted a drawing of the couple’s hairstyles, including XXX’s multicolored dreadlocks and facial tattoos. She captioned it “I want to scream at the top of my lungs until i can’t then keep screaming. i don’t want to believe this. no one knows. the sh*t. i feel. for you.”
XXX — real name Jahseh Dwayne Onfroy — was accused of allegedly brutally beating Neva in 2016 to the degree that she needed extensive facial surgery. She even started a GoFundMe page to raise money for expensive eye surgery to put her orbital lobe back in place. She hadn’t yet met her $25K goal before XXX’s murder but now the site has raised over $32K, well in excess of her requested amount.
On the page, she detailed how the “aggressive hit” also caused damage to her nose and jaw. XXX was later charged with aggravated battery of a pregnant woman, domestic battery by strangulation, false imprisonment, and witness-tampering. In a 2017 deposition obtained by Pitchfork, Neva described an alleged pattern of abuse that included various beatings, getting stabbed with a barbecue fork, having her head held underwater while he promised to drown her and threats to cut out her tongue. But still, she’s mourning his loss.