Personally, I’m shocked that this couple is over already. I mean, when Max ditched his fiancée for Naomi, then married her in a rushed courtroom proceeding, I thought to myself, “This is love. This is forever.” And just 48 hours before Valentine’s Day?! It’s like 90210 doesn’t want us to believe in love at all.
Liam Acts A Fool
Liam’s (Matt Lanter) life continued to be incredibly difficult this week, as an Oscar-winning director literally hunted him down and begged him to take on a role that would solidify him as a legit actor. But he backed out at the last minute, instead taking a detour to another underground fight.
I know it’s easy to call Liam crazy for turning down that part, but think about the sacrifices he’d have to make for his craft. Did you hear that crazy director? “Prepare to grow out your hair and sideburns?” Who does she think she is? No one tells Liam Court what do with his hair, but me. In my living room. And trust me, he hears me.
Annie Makes Money From Sex… Again
Apparently getting shot also got Annie’s (Shenae Grimes) creative juices flowing, as her blog — formerly titled “My Blog,” which I valued more than Shakespeare — has evolved into Fifty Shades of Gray-style erotica. She even managed to snag a book deal out of it, as long as no one ever reveals her identity, of course.
At first I was surprised that Annie was so knowledgable about sex, but then I remembered she’s a former prostitute who was able to convince a priest to lose his virginity to her. And you wonder why she’s my favorite character? Please.
Navid Hooks Up With Silver’s Uterus
Navid (Michael Steger) bagged himself a fine-ass lady at the bar to impress his goony new friends, which totally made dropping out of Princeton worthwhile — until he found out she just so happens to be Shane’s sister, who just so happens to be Silver’s (Jessica Stroup) surrogate!
Let’s think about this for a second: If Shane’s sister takes on Silver and Teddy’s embryo while she’s sleeping with Navid, I smell a “Who’s the daddy?” situation coming. And it smells gross. Like a uterus.
Adrianna, What Have You Become?
In a last-ditch attempt to escape her contract, Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) went out of her way to sabotage her image — because apparently she needs to try to do that now. Remember when it used to come so naturally for her? The pill-popping, the Silver-killing… our girl’s gotten rusty over the years.
Ade’s brilliant plan was to perform like crap in front of Joey McIntyre — not playing himself — to make Dixon (Tristan Wilds) look like a bad manager, but like literally everything Ade does, her plan totally blew up in her face. Now she has no contract, no boyfriend, and there are tons of topless pictures of her on the internet.
I’m crossing my fingers that 90210 gets a sixth season so I can say “I told you so” when she starts doing porn.
What did you think of this week’s episode? Are you bummed that Naomi and Max are over for good? Do you think Navid dating Silver’s uterus will make things weird? And what do you think the title of Adrianna’s first porno should be? Drop me a comment with all your thoughts!
— Andy Swift
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